Vanity Fairy

27 June 2004

According to her BBC 'biography' (or press release) Sybil Ruscoe is "one of the country's most experienced and versatile radio presenters". Incredibly she "was recently named as one of Cosmopolitan's 100 Most Inspirational Women for her work in sports broadcasting." So this is the same Sybil Ruscoe that presents a soporific radio show that's so anodyne drug companies want to patent it as a sleeping aid. I'm sure Sybil is a very nice, caring person but as a broadcaster she speaks mind-numbing drivel, chuckling away to herself as she does. Still, she does have human weaknesses, and lets us know, just so we can get all sympathetic; "... and like Sir Steve Redgrave is a diabetic." Pardon? No mention of Sir Steve anywhere else on the page except in that sentence. Surely they've edited something out! Surely they can't be trying to connect the vacuous inanities of a MOR DJ and one of the best sportsmen ever produced in the UK? Perish the thought.

Over the bar!

26 June 2004

Over the last few weeks the country has been inflicted with mini England flags attached to car windows, plaintively flapping above grubby white vans, and gradually getting duller and duller as traffic grime impregnates the polyester. This was, ofcourse, because of some football championship. As is typical with the England team, they lost, they won, they lost spectacularly. A nation mourns. When the team were beaten out of the competition those little flags disappeared almost overnight. The country must have got up next morning and collectively smote the damn things to one side. To fly them now would be self-mockery, a realisation that England is good but not great. It's easy psychology, I know, but perhaps this is a paradigm for England and the UK; we're good but not great. If only we could accept our modest place in the world, realise that we can be a better nation through co-operation with others, forget the imperialist past, and lose the superpower pretensions, we might become a more progressive country.

Eye full

24 June 2004

I was examining a coach today with a traffic manager. Part of this inspection required us to climb halfway into the lockers that run the length of the vehicle where luggage is stored. We had to crouch down to get inside and I asked questions and made notes. As we struggled to get out of one of the lockers I slipped, raised my arms to balance and the corner of my clipboard caught the traffic manager in the eye. He was polite enough to apologise, such is the English way.

House unsafe

23 June 2004

Found myself digging about in a filthy disintergrating garage today. The owner was trying to show me some damaged property she'd stored for safe-keeping. As we rummaged amongst bags of mouldy clothing part of the roof collapsed and I noticed one of the main support beams was fractured. The owner explained that a recent earthquake, a rarity in the UK, had shifted the whole building a few inches westwards. Then she screamed as a fat spider shot across her wrist. We tip-toed out and as she banged the door shut another beam fell away.

iData Pro

21 June 2004

iData Pro is morphing into iData2 and a new beta version has just become available. According to the site iData 2 is:

A freeform database with optional fields that is superb for keeping all sorts of miscellaneous info. Whether it is scribbles from the back of a napkin, notes, scientific research, or the names and addresses of your clinets, iData will make it easily accessible. [iData 2]

iData comes from the now defunct Casady & Greene stable. It has a long history and this new version brings it up to date with 'Cocoa' features for Apple OSX 10.3 Worth a look.

Double yolk

6 June 2004

Not sure how common this is, but on breaking open an egg today I found I had a double yolk.

Frozen Lips

6 June 2004

Had to inspect some damaged goods today stored in a refrigerated warehouse where the temperature was about -27C. I was given a 'care-in-the-community' furry hat and a quilted coat and gloves. It was so cold my forehead began to feel like it was being burned and my left eye got sore and weepy. My camera steamed up and my ball-point pen wouldn't write.